Hi all! This style of blog is new for my website and prayfully, I will continue to share bits of gems that the Lord gives me. Led by the Holy Spirit, I am going to share my testimony and constant struggle with fornication; with hopes that it transforms the minds and bodies of those who decide to read.
I remember sitting in church for a mid-week service and the preacher said, “If you weren’t having fun in the world you were doing it wrong or with the wrong person.” Although I did get a good laugh out of this, it resonated with me because that’s exactly how I viewed my sex life. If I could choose a sin I didn’t want to live without, it would be fornication. I’ve read the scriptures, I’ve listened to multiple sermons concerning the topic but I had yet to conquer a war against my flesh that honestly, I did not want to fight. With this consistent sin, came torment. I would battle with the spirit of guilt, bitterness and unforgiveness. God could not properly heal me if I continued to return back to the same sin He called me out of. Deliverance is already ours when we believe by FAITH that God has delivered us(Matthew 21:22). How can we (especially myself) walk in the liberty God has freely given if we keep returning to the same bed, the same man (or different *shrugs*), the same sin? Simply, we can not. I felt God tugging on my heart, “Shaciera, I need you pure. My daughter, it will not work your way. Child, this is not the plan I have for you.” One morning, I was filled with repentance. I didn’t want to live by my flesh anymore and I cried out to God asking for forgiveness.
What Does the Bible Say?
God’s word is living and breathing and through it, we are able to know God mainly because His Word never changes. There are plenty of verses that focus on purity and for now, let’s dive into two. “The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, and she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:23-24. Christians use the word “soul tie” a lot in reference to us having emotional (most times lustful) spiritual attachments with someone who is not our wife or husband. Although “soul tie” is not found in the bible, it does have biblical importance and this verse supports why. When God created Eve, she was intended just for Adam (just like our future spouse). Through marriage, they were one flesh. Sex was intended for specifically marriage so even when engaging outside of that, we are still becoming “one” with that person – This is biblical! How many people have you become one with? This was not God’s intention. God is the creator of sex and sex itself is not a sin. When we use it out of God’s design is when the sin comes in. God is not telling us to refrain from sex because it’s “bad” but because He knows we can become emotionally attached, pregnant, or whatever else to someone who is not our spouse. This was for our protection.
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immortality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” – Colossians 3:5. This verse is for those who are believers in Christ. Colossians was written by the Apostle Paul to the church of Colossae. These particular people mixed pagan ideology along with Christianity. How many of us have done that,using scripture to support our sin? I know I have (moving on).This verse is telling us to put these earthly things to death. We are spiritual beings having an earthly experience. We have to rid ourselves of our fleshly desires to fully walk with Christ. Since Paul is talking specifically to believers, I’m talking to you too! Kill that flesh, pick up your cross and follow Christ. We as believers we need to be the example. We have to show Christ to a world that mocks Him. Are you willing to sacrifice your own desires to live by the Spirit so Christ can be shown?
Can God Still Use Me?
Without a doubt, God wants to use us but He needs clean vessels: pure in heart, pure in spirit and pure in our bodies. David is one of my favorite people (ever) and He says to God, “Create in ME a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me” in Psalms 51:10.Historically, David had taken another man’s wife and murdered her husband for her; an obvious sin in God’s sight. Yet, God mercifully forgave him because he had a true heart of repentance. Let’s break down this scripture: “Create in me a clean heart” – we were born and shaped in sin and there is absolutely nothing good about us on our own. Through Christ (only), are we able to have a clean heart; this is His job. Let’s look at the second part of this verse “renew a steadfast spirit within me”. When something is renewed, it means that it was already in possession yet expired. If David is asking God to renew a steadfast spirit within him, this means that David originally possessed steadfastness. Like David, its up to God to create in us new desires and thoughts but it is up to us to keep it!
Girl, this post is coming to a close and end and I bet you’re wondering “What now? What can I do? How can I do it?” I don’t have all the answers but I do have tips: 1.)Repent – forreal, forreal. Don’t come to God with a half-hearted apology, He’s knows we’re not being honest anyway. 2.) Study scripture and apply it to your life. Write them down, memorize them and then repeat! There is not a need to know every scripture based on purity and when we’re tested in that area, we fail. LOL! Pass that test, girl. 3.) Read up on biblical characters who taught on purity. Biblical characters are a great way to relate to the people who went through the same things as us. Some examples are Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul and David. 4). Rid yourself of anyone or thing that keeps you from Christ. If you have to delete Day-Day’s number to remain pure, delete it and block him while you’re at it to keep him from contacting you. 5.) Find support – this can be through social media, support groups, a strong sister in Christ, etc. With this new journey, you will be tempted to fall and you need someone to hold you accountable.
Shaciera,are you afraid that men would not want to date you because of your celibacy?
Honestly, no and you shouldn’t be either. In my case,I pray that my husband is an initiator, meaning he is the one who leads our relationship. I don’t want to convince a man that this is something we should be doing. I want to be able to trust him,knowing he loves me like Christ loves the church. Men not wanting to date me because of this works out for my benefit because it easily weeds out the unwanted.
My prayer is that this blog encourages you and allows God to permeate the parts of your heart that you’ve allowed to be filled with lust and fornication. We can all be transformed through Christ.
I love you all.